nly the second walkthrough I’ve managed to compile over the weekend, but one worth publishing: Dude, Where’s My Beer?
As with all point and click walkthroughs, exhaust all the dialogue options – not just for the solutions but also for the experience. Remember that your character will only talk to some characters if tipsy. Two beers at a time is sufficient, but you can only hold one of each at a time. Drink one, then ask the bartender for another.
This isn’t for the 100% achievements, but the bulk of the game, i.e. story completion. At every opportunity, drink. If you drink 30 beers, you’ll earn an achievement, so the 10 times of sobering up will be easy. Walking 10,000 steps will take a toll. But the hardest, in my opinion, is getting all the hints from the cat. If you follow this guide, you’ll get the non-hint achievement of True Gamer (which sounds grand, doesn’t it?).
Dude, Where’s My Beer? Walkthrough
First of all, talk to the bus driver about crackers and wish to complain about the lack of them. He’ll ‘make it up to you’ by providing you with a free pen, but you won’t accept it. Make a note; you’ll be back.
For the first pub on your crawl, you’ll need to head right until you reach The Underground Pub. Go inside and pull out the darts immediately as you walk in, then pick up the keys in the bottom left.
Pick up the bleach to spill it. It’s not a requirement, but it’s fun. Chat with the bartender so that he gives you a beer. Drink it, then chat again to obtain another. Talk to the janitor to learn about the master brewer. After exhausting the options, give him your viewfinder, then use the keys you picked up on the toilet door (twice to get him to action it).
Pick up the duct tape, WonderMop then the glove in the sink. Achievement hunters can unlock the ENVIRONMENTAL OFFENDER achievement by flushing the toilet ten times. Leave the building and venture right.
Head into The Mistress, talk with the bartender and get another beer. Talk to the person on the right with the tree on their sweater. Leave the bar, then return to the starting point and talk to the driver about getting that pen. Go back to The Mistress and the tree sweater lady and hand the pen over.
Head left off-screen. Before entering the Dive Bar, keep opening the door to the right to get the PERV! achievement. Go in the bar and talk to Bahir to get another beer, then speak to the cat. Each time you see a cat, talk to it to get a hint. If you’re looking to 100% the game, you’ll need to play through again and ignore it. Either way, you have to play through at least twice for 100%. As mentioned in the intro, this Dude, Where’s My Beer? walkthrough goes the non-hint route.
Go back towards The Mistress and look at the newsstand, then use your money to get a paper. Open it to get an elastic band. Walk right off-screen, ignoring the queue, then enter the Kniven Bar. Talk to the bartender, get another beer, then leave.
To the right, go into the Big Dog Sports Bar for a beer, but you can’t get one. Instead, leave and pick up a banana from the Vegan Food vendor, look at the fountain for another achievement, then return to the bus driver, following on from the conversation at the sports bar.
The bus driver will give you a beer if you shut the baby up. Head back to the Dive Bar. There’s a woman outside called Sylvie, but you can only talk to her with a beer. Make sure to drink, then speak with her (if you’re aiming for the hint achievement, talk to the cat in the Dive Bar repeatedly for hints – or don’t). Whether you speak French or not, you’ll need another beer, so return to Bahir and ask for one. Speak with Sylvie again to obtain a bottle, open it to get a cork.
You now need to sober up. The way I did this was walking off-screen and heading to each bar, and exiting until sober. There might be a faster way… Once sober, combine the cork with the duct tape and use the new band-aid on the fountain by the vegan van. The next bit didn’t make sense whatsoever, so I hope this helps you: go back to the outside of The Underground Pub, make sure you’re tipsy, then pick up the bottle and bell to the right. Once in your inventory, open the bottle to get a cap.
Return to The Mistress but don’t go in. Head right, and you can now enter The Garden. Pick up the clean glass on the counter in the foreground, then the ‘back in’ sign on the service counter. Use the elastic band with the bell, then the sign. Head to Grønland to use the alarm on the bum in the alley. Speak to him as you want one of his bottles, but he won’t yield. Pick up the barrel instead to get a bag, do it a few more times, so you get an apple, bone and burrito. Open the burrito for some foil to give to Arik in exchange for a bottle.
Go back to the Mistress Bar, and now the chef has arrived. Speak with her, then afterwards, open the newspaper, then speak with them again and say you know the answer. Select:
- Armenian
- Dry-Hopped
- Lavash
- Trappist
- Apricot
- IPA
Now head into the kitchen and pick up the measuring cup underneath the oven to the far right. Use it on the white powder on the floor. Go back to the fountain and use the emerald bottle to fill with water, then go back to The Underground Pub’s toilet.
This bit is mental: use the white powder in the cup with the water bottle, but make sure it’s dark first by pulling the toilet chain. Voila – a milk bottle… Just put the baby bottle on top to ‘cap it off’ and hand it over to Chantal near the bus. Note that the bus driver has gone.
You can now enter The Crypt, the bar next to The Garden. Say you don’t have epilepsy, then go in and speak to the bartender to find out about a secret chat group. You’ll now want to go to the Big Dog Sports Bar and ask for a Halvliter, mentioning it being online. Speak to him again and ask for the progress. As he won’t act until the bar closes, ask for a Guinness, then pinch the remote control on the bar. Use it on the TV, then pick up the iPhone, without a code, leave and re-enter the bar.
Speak with the bartender again about the code, then with the guy at the far right of the bar (Woodrow), then the Hawaiian shirt man in the bottom left (Orion). Do the same remote trick and type 1900 on the iPhone. Leave, then drink your Guinness for an achievement and use the glass on the icebox next to the vegan van. Go back to the sports bar, ask for another Guinness, combine your ice glass with this, and add the banana to make a smoothie. Leave, then give this to the mascot by the van. Repeatedly talk to them and ask about the finals to get a clue for the code. To save you the hassle, it’s 1725.
Use the code on the phone in the bar, using the remote on the TV once more, then access the Timehog app and Secret Chat. Scroll through the texts and make a note of the username.
The following bits are optional and only for two achievements. Head to The Garden to pick up the milk, then another glass. Take this milk and give it to the cat in the Dive Bar. You can then repeat your steps to make the banana smoothie to give to the mascot. You need to do this twice, so you’ll have to do a spot of backtracking.
If you followed the GOOD SAMARITAN path and still by the vegan van, open your paper bag and look at the receipt. Hand over to Harvest for the name of the user in the Secret Chat. Head back to The Underground Pub. Repeatedly use the remote on the TV for the HELLO achievement, then open the remote for some batteries and combine with your duct tape. Talk to the new NPC by the entrance tog et his charger. Combine the duct tape batteries with it and hand back to Jølla. He still won’t give you the Yellow Pages if you ask for it, so head into the toilet and pull the plug on the router, and as long as you’re tipsy, stick your hand in the toilet to obtain the wallet. Now, look at the Yellow Pages. Off to the Dive Bar!
Look at the plaque, then after speaking with Bahir, swap the wallet from the toilet with his. Quiz him about his name and follow the dialogue as it transpires that his wife is Chantal. Open it to get the Mastercard. Pick up the glue on the counter, then leave the bar and look at the light above Arik. Use the glove and mop to reach it, then apply some glue for the light bulb. Before heading back to where you poisoned the baby, head to The Mistress and look at the Dark Beer on the table by the Quiz King. Speak to him to find out the name of the drink, then drop the light bulb in it!
Go back to Chantal and find out that she IS Bahir’s wife. Give her the Mastercard. Do the responsible thing and leave the baby, and head back to Bahir. Take the lantern and insert the dark bulb you prepared earlier. Open your paperclip, head back to The Underground Pub, and use the clip on the bakery next door (sober).
Walk to the end of the bakery, open the door, then push the brick in place to keep the door open. Leave the room, and once again, you’re in the toilets. Pull the chain for the room to go dark, then use your dark lantern. Remember the dart from the beginning? Use that on the X on the wall. Exit, then talk to the janitor and new character at the bar.
The end…?
I hope this Dude, Where’s My Beer? walkthrough has helped you. If there are any errors – as there occasionally is (writing a walkthrough is nothing like a news piece or review!), please do let me know.
Cheers!
