Four Last Things Review - Hey, Slappers!

This’ll only be a quickie – that’s what [insert pronoun] said! Ooh – Lust. That’s how easy it is to sin, and the same applies to Four Last Things by Joe Richard’s son, undoubtedly the best Heavenly Peter-featured point and click adventure of all time. 

What’s it all about? Sin. That’s the skinny of it, and before you can think of your first-grade teacher squatting over a glass coffee table whilst wearing marigolds (funny how I default to lust?), it’s all over. There’s another lust joke in there, but I’m not going to embarrass myself.

Shame on you if you haven’t played a Joe Richard’s son’s game yet. That shame should ring through the density of your bones if you’re a point and click fan, appreciate art, firmly place Monty Python on a pedestal as one of, if not the greatest comedy troupe, and, you’re a bit of a slapper. Should all of these apply, you’re in trouble.

Joe Richard’s son might just be one of the wittiest, yet humble, developers out there, and Four Last Things is a mini-masterpiece – I mean, the artwork’s already been covered, right? I picked this up ages ago but only recently got to play it. Those looking for a balanced article, please continue: it was disappointing.

Why, I pretend to hear you ask? It’s quite short. That’s nothing to do with value – it’s worth your pennies (note the extra ‘n’ and the ‘i’), but as it’s so funny and enjoyable to play, it’s disappointing when it’s over. Like a four-pack of Greggs sausage rolls that you devoured on your own in the car park. You don’t even have a car. That’s Gluttony.

Don’t let that put you off, as Four Last Things isn’t solely about the humour but how innovative it is. In fear of an indirect behind-the-scenes, one of the locations boasts a gallery where you can see the original pieces that Richardson chopped up, and it’s incredible how these works of art are placed in such abstract ways that you may find yourself appreciating the layouts in the game rather than these masterpieces. 

That’s an outrageous claim, I know, but I don’t expect the target audience to be art critics, more fellow Monkey Island fans looking for an in-joke, or having the fourth wall broken by a loose fart. You might wonder what the plot is after rabbiting on? It’s church-related, so utterly sensible.

As Teams and Zoom didn’t exist back in those days, for our hero to ascend to greatness and set up a meeting with Heavenly Peter, he must commit all seven of the sins. He’s already completed some, but the church bases this on districts, so if he re-enacts all of the sins in the designated area, he’ll be absolved and get a free sticker. Or something like that.

Like any point and click, there’s an accessible inventory at the top of the screen, and a simple one at that – there aren’t any combinations here, just a drag and drop setup. At any point, you can refer to your scrap of paper and tick off each sin as you go along. They’re surprisingly easy to achieve in Four Last Things, but considering you’re traversing a work of art – both visually and also classical music – no, not 50 Cent or Mariah Carey, but Bach and a bit of Bon Jovi, and this is by an eclectic mix from the public domain.

While a simple premise, the game does have a few bonus achievements thrown in for repeat playthroughs and experiencing new stuff, but taking into account just how funny this is and how satisfying it is to slap a stranger in the face or on their bottom, you’ll be back for more, you sinner.

It’s so satisfying that it’s worth replicating these in real life. Wait, don’t do that – there’s too much bureaucratic tape. Stick with the church, my friends, and buy Four Last Things.