Suck My Kiss, Gal*Gun: Double Peace Switch

Here’s a little secret for you: I didn’t know what Gal*Gun: Double Peace was. All I saw was a new game from PQube and thought, “Yeah, I’m down”. That’s not to butter anyone up at the publishers, should they be reading this, but they have a decent catalogue (see Kitaria Fables).

Imagine my surprise when I find out that this is a saucy, on-rails shooter where you have to woo young girls with squirts of pheromones – disgusting! Did I switch it off? Did I fu- I’m a Leisure Suit Larry connoisseur, so pervy undertones (massive understatement) is in my DNA.

However, I feel compelled to say that anime/manga girls aren’t my thing. Honestly, officer. It doesn’t do anything for me in terms of going into the bathroom for a “long poo”, and if I’m really putting on my sensible hat, if I overthink it, it’s very very cringey. But it’s a game! I’m moving on. Let someone else talk about morals. Tits!

You play Houdai Kudoki, and you’ll choose their personality traits at the start of the game. Naturally, I opted for a perv but didn’t see the significance of the stats in Gal*Gun: Double Peace (they continually change based on where you place your hands). Once ready, you find yourself outside school talking with two siblings who you may, or may not have had a crush on for some time (multiple paths/endings). Being undesirable, you don’t have a chance. That is until Ekoro – an angel – zaps you with their cupid gun, making you irresistible!

Unfortunately, that blast was a bit overkill, and you soon find yourself rushed by schoolgirls declaring their love for you. It’s not so bad, right? Yes. It’s on a different scale as their sweet nothings do you harm, as does their trampling(!). To counter this, you shoot them with pheromones, forcing them to ‘melt’ and fall to their knees, thus allowing Houdai to pursue his true quest: find a girlfriend. What a paradox.

Gal*Gun: Double Peace is one-third visual novel, one-third shooter and one-third sukebe. The visual novel element is excellent and presented with in-game animated 3D. It’s really good. For a grown man not into this sort of thing, the dialogue was awkward but amusing. The real fun (which was very surprising) was the shooting element. Adrenaline junkies may yawn at the pace, but if you’ve played anything like House of the Dead 2 on the greatest ever console (the Sega Dreamcast), you’ll have an inkling of what Gal*Gun: Double Peace on the Switch is like. That line in the game of “Don’t come!” could be used here in one way more than one.

Shooting girls so they drop to their knees is just the beginning. While you’ve been possessed by an angel, a demon causes chaos, even clinging onto these poor girls. What does that mean to you? You have to eliminate them out before shooting the girls, often resorting to a love bomb of sorts where you <ahem> switch to photo mode and feel up the assailant until they yield. I’ll have to admit, I found this bit very funny, but had to mute the dialogue and turn the Switch to one angle so the wife couldn’t see.

Houdai can choose his love interests in Gal*Gun: Double Peace, meaning there’s scope for multiple playthroughs for the story, the time attack mode, and also a gallery to check out what you’ve unlocked/undressed. The sisters in the game, as well as the angel, demon and girls throughout can be customised with new wardrobes. This is properly geared towards those who like lolita – as in the doll fashion seen in Harajuku, dominatrix, uniforms and the best one: a pink bunny costume. I went for this so as to have some respect for my love interest, but the headpiece was too big and would be cut off in the scenes ????

After stomping through some lovely Japanese locations, my first love choice got stuck in a window, and I had to repeat the actions seen in the paragraph above to get her out. Yeah, because this happens in real life and not just on HornPub. Again, I sound like I’m turning my nose up at it, but on the contrary, I’ve had a lot of fun with the game. Maybe too much fun, but it’s genuinely entertaining and offers a lot of replayability.

From a gameplay aspect, there are a lot of challenges, such as difficulty, modes, and, more importantly, how efficient you are. I’d often think I’d ace a level only to get graded D. My accuracy was always decent – controlling with the sticks is very reliable, but you need to make sure you power-up at the intermissions: a shop where you can collect extra health, protection, and buy Tic-Tacs so that you’re minty fresh for all those ladies.

I doubt you’re reading this for the sake of it – you’re probably already invested in the series and played/own this game already on the PS4. As a newcomer, I think Gal*Gun: Double Peace is very enjoyable, despite the creepy context of most of the scenes, but apparently, there’s a big fanbase. Granted, I’m still keeping it away from my better half – she’s mad on manga and anime. She busted my chops during Kandagawa Jet Girls, and if she saw some of the QTEs in this game… well, I’d be better off smearing myself in peanut butter and squatting on a glass coffee table with a feather duster than go through justifying why I’m still playing after the review.