The Holy Gosh Darn Review: Halo, World
Where's God at? It doesn't matter, Cass is on the case to save existence in the HILARIOUS The Holy Gosh Darn on Steam.
Holy shit, goddamn! The Holy Gosh Darn is hilarious. In Perfectly Paranormal signature fashion, their latest adventure features oddball humour, that same cut-out Helheim Hassle/Manual Samuel animation, and divine powers that are so cool that they'll distract you from the imminent end of existence. Either those or the influx of dogs will.
You play Cassiel of Celery - Celibacy - Celebrity - Hel, an angel bored out of her tree, guessing what type of dog breed will arrive next in Heaven with her best pal. As with all act ones in a story, that takes a turn for the worst when the gates are invaded by phantoms, thus ending EVERYTHING.
The Holy Gosh Darn Review
Fortunately, Azrael, a.k.a. Death, is on her side and wields the power of time. By encapsulating this ability into a snazzy little medallion that would look great at any discotheque, Cass can rewind AND fast-forward time in increments, gaining insight into characters and events, with nobody none the wiser. It's an innovative device (both the bling and the game mechanic), and it's... timeless.
Jeitaro
In The Holy Gosh Darn, Cass has six hours to prevent the end by locating the ultimate weapon. Waking at noon daily, she can manipulate time on the fly and ideally earn marginal gains that bring her ever closer to stopping it all. Amusingly, the transition from each time the segment launches a pavement pizza out of her mouth hole doesn't go a miss with NPCs if they are within splash distance. After all, they're reliving the same thing again and again, and then all of a sudden, one of the angels spews in their presence.
Live, Die, Repeat
Cass, our courageous hero, understandably has minimal patience. It's essential to make haste before the phantoms arrive. Alas, the other characters aren't aware of this, and you'll have to repeatedly experience the same conversations, tinkering with what is said to get the result you desire. Think Groundhog Day: a frustrating scenario, but it's often a laugh-out-loud situation.
But there's a twist to all this. Repeating conversations will undoubtedly become the most laborious task, but each interaction differs. Take one instance when talking to an NPC, they spoke of a sibling whom I praised. They immediately cut me off and refused to talk any further. Rewinding time and selecting the new option that had me agreeing with them unlocked a new conversation. This time, I said something else wrong. Every time I returned, Cass would heave, then come up with some other pithy sentence that made the whole interaction a brilliant setup. It's like the devs have their device to manipulate time and work out what works and what doesn't.
Time Is Of The Essence
Even better, because of the urgency in The Holy Gosh Darn, Cass can cut off conversations she's already had. Often, by default, she will engage with the same people each day unless you trigger a conversation killswitch. Just as the other party is about to bombard you with the same loop each day, Cass interrupts them, allowing the crucial seconds to reach the next set piece. Apart from this mechanic being essential for timing, the remarks are brilliant once again. Her peers are disgruntled by her etiquette.
As an angel, Cass also has powers and unlocks new abilities that help with the platforming aspects and other time-based manipulation that assists with her inventory (she can't take items back to the past by default as they return to their original locations). Being in Heaven should essentially be the endgame, but there are other locations to travel to outside this realm, with a few nods to the dev's catalogue. Fully-voice acted throughout, the interactions with other characters are a genuine highlight and some of the funniest dialogue around. Have I mentioned that much? Also, can we just big up Azrael? I really really warmed to him from the get-go, unlike Pesto. That guy's a dick.
The Holy Gosh Darn Review Summary
What is the Holy Gosh Darn, you may wonder? Continue wondering. Unless you have your own space logic time thingy, you'll have to get the game and find out for yourself. This review copy was played entirely on the Steam Deck and was perfect(ly Paranormal). A laugh-out-loud affair throughout, The Holy Gosh Darn is smart and innovative, and it'll make you want to live out your last moments again and again.
