Total Trails Review PS5 - The Wind In Your Hair And Dirt In Your Teeth

With legs like tree trunks and lungs like dustbins, Total Trails is a doddle. For everyone else with a regular, functioning lung capacity and calves that don’t look like they’ve swallowed tennis balls, get ready to pace yourself – you’ll need those marginal gains.

If you’re already skimming this review, let me say that repixel8’s game (Formula Retro Racing) is worth looking at if you’re a mountain bike enthusiast. Admirers of Kona, Marin, or Specialized will need to stick to their Pinterest as there’s no licensing here – there’s no SRAM, Shimano, or Club Roost (eh? eh?) either – just male and female riders. Am I allowed to say that? One with tits, one without.

With two main modes in Total Trails—a career and time trials (there’s a free ride, too)—the goal is to complete a track in under the time limit and within a set number of crashes or none at all. The gameplay is very much a rinse-and-repeat of doing the same thing repeatedly, with a spot of hidden items to unlock new bikes.

Total Trails Review PS5

It’s starting to sound a bit vanilla, right? That’s right. Total Trails is pretty minimalistic. As mentioned, there are no licensed items, no Rage Against the Machine or A Tribe Called Quest soundtracks while riding, no tricks, and no crowds or competitors to keep you company. It’s all very Lonely Mountains Downhill, and you know what I thought about that.

Though there’s tutorial text at the beginning of each course, the controls are intuitive, so it’s unnecessary to show each time. One shoulder button accelerates while the other brakes, the rider can bunny hop over some obstacles, and a gauge-based sprint shaves off the time on your best laps. And that’s it, folks.

I want to put all of this in context. When I was looking for my links, I saw that Total Trails PS5 is already out. It came out last month and is not due for today’s date as had originally been scheduled. The advantage of writing a review about a game already out is that one can see the average rating of 2.5 on the PlayStation Store and subsequently disagree with it. That’s how reviews work—they’re subjective.

It’s All Downhill From Here

You’ll likely get bored if you stick with the default cam during your visit. It’s slow, the character’s head looks big, and – as stated – boring. However, switch it to the first-person cam, and then it starts cooking. As an ex-mountain biker (we’re talking yeeeeears ago), I can confidentally say this is what you see when riding, not a third-person perspective of one’s buttocks.

The movement from this viewpoint is speedy, naturally unpredictable, and enjoyable. Switch to the other two views—a rear seat stay mount or the thigh cam—and you’ll get a GTA-like cinematic that looks great but is tricky to handle. It didn’t stop me—it looks like the business, but the first-person cam is easily the best and makes the game.

Aside from tearing up the various tracks over 20 (count ’em) levels, you’ll be hunting for silver and gold cogs to improve your bikes. As repeatedly stated, these aren’t licensed nor appear to be anything special, yet there are stat changes that will enhance your game – notably better brakes. The challenges are already decent enough (i.e. not crashing during lengthy laps), so throwing in collectables is a good call.

Mud In Your Face, And Everywhere Else

My beef with Total Trails isn’t the lack of licensed gear, the crowds, or the lack of punchy soundtracks. No, my beef was the collisions. For a game that promotes an ‘authentic physics engine simulates bike dynamics, ensuring lifelike handling and responses’, I have to say I’m unimpressed.

The slightest wobble and you’ll hit the deck, become impaled on your crossbar, or worse: restart the level. Again. You ride smarter and pay attention to the riding lines when working towards the challenges to earn points and unlock new levels. However, when going for a hoon in freeride, the physics spoils the mode as you respawn at the start for each pebble you clip.

Despite these reservations, I enjoy playing Total Trails. Though there isn’t much to choose from, this is my preferred mountain biking game outside of Lonely Mountains Downhill – not adrenaline tosh Rider’s Republic, a.k.a. The Crew with bikes. 

Total Trails PS5 Review Summary

So, put it into context with all the above. Total Trails has its flaws, and it seems like there’s not much going for it, but read between the lines: outside of the collisions, this is a very competent bike game and will keep you from grazing your knees or missing a tooth down the local tracks for some time to come.