What The Car? Review And How To Reinvent The Wheel

The car industry could learn a lot from What The Car? Instead of funnelling cash into research and development and funding ways to make a car's outer shell change on command, how about removing the wheels and adding some legs? Perhaps water dispenser-powered jet packs?

Triband are pioneers; let's give them that. They've already redefined golf, so why not the humble racing game? Following the same madness as their last outing, the premise of the game is to get your vehicle across the finish line in the fastest manner possible and, often, the most imaginative way.

What The Car? was an Apple Arcade exclusive, though now available for PC via Steam, and for the record, it plays great on the Steam Deck. On paper, it's a racing game, but under the hood, it's a deconstruction of the genre, throwing out all the rules (i.e. the car doesn't need any wheels, not remain on the road, et al) and effectively being a game about getting the fastest 'lap' times, without any notable opponents or timers.

What The Car? Review: This Anti-Racing Game Has Legs

The variations of vehicles on offer are absurd. From the initial car with legs transitions to a car with arms, an excessively wide car, or even one powered by a football launcher (soccer, foreign friends, soccer), an inner monologue will trigger, "What will they think of next?", and after completing the 100+ levels, not including those designed by players, there's not one vanilla entry. These are unique, entertaining, and often hilarious. And that's just the cars.

As for level design, you'll be sprinting along roads, rebounding through office spaces, and fuelling said water dispenser-powered jet packs through some pleasant-on-the-eye locales, accompanied by an abundance of helpful bears. And the level of puns? It's off the scale.

But how does it play? Like What The Golf? before it, What The Car? is a slightly more coherent series of events that play out like WarioWare. Fundamentally, all levels gravitate towards getting your car over the line in the fastest time possible to obtain bragging rights on the leaderboards. Generally speaking, each stage is intuitive enough with minimalist controls and not too different to Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom, as the majority of your time, you will be tapping the jump button and steering left and right.

Car With Brakes

Simple controls and oddball humour make What The Car? a very fun and accessible game to begin with, though as levels progress, some of the basic challenges, such as obtaining an optional collectable card, typically get scrapped in favour of finishing the stage to unlock new sections. For every level completed, irrespective of the rank (gold, silver and bronze), new biomes unlock, as too do the collectables.

Despite those funny title cards and randomly placed bears or naked bananas, some of the physics poses a sprinkling of frustration like the Flappy Bird-inspired stages, or the slightly longer courses of Subbuteo and subsequent expulsion of the course by a boot, or explosive washing machine. Of course, these levels of frustration boil down to how desperate you are to get on the leaderboard, or at the very least, eager to unlock all the stages.

Even with the very many levels under your belt, What The Car? is feature-packed with Easter eggs, daily events, and some really interesting user-based levels. Think Super Mario Maker, and you can appreciate some of the hit-and-miss designs - some belters, some mediocre. Think you can do better? Jump into the editor yourself and post it online for others to fumble over or place on a gaming pedestal.

What The Car? Review Summary

No, What The Car? is not your typical racing game, and for that reason, you must try this out if you didn't have the luxury of six months of Apple Arcade when you bought your last iPhone. The comedy is constant and on point, and the sheer silliness and fun had with this physics-based game will have you returning if not for the hi-scores but to check in on user content and daily challenges.